Can You Change Other People? Yes, By Changing Your Perspective!
The modern society is an abundant source of stress. Because of our nature we are inclined to blame someone (or something) outside of ourselves for the cause of stress. I realized that the only way out of stress is to understand the other person (or situation) and embrace the feeling of compassion. Everyone around us is struggling with their own battle, so we better stop trying to change them.
Whatever you believe about others is the reason for your stress, for what you believe in determines the perceived reality of your world.
We’ve all encountered difficult people. Why are they difficult? Because we expect them to be like us. For instance, if you help someone you expect a positive response in return. But your expectations are causing stress and disappointment for you. Maybe their psychology or physiology is not capable of behaving the way you expect them to. Accept other people’s level of development and work on yours. You change others by working on yourself.
Don’t change others change yourself!
People in general do what they do for a good reason. The problem is that this reason depends on their perception of good. Not everyone has evolved to exactly the same level. As a result what is good for them is not necessarily good for you. Sometimes your stress comes from people (I have one at my work place) who puff themselves up by putting others down. But make no mistake – their behavior comes from feeling powerless and insecure inside. They have an external need of validation. They need other people to assure them that they are smart and “right”. The external source of their self esteem creates painful experiences, based on a pre-wired biology.
How do you deal with negative people? Take the lessons you can learn from them and leave the feelings and emotions aside. This is the only way to protect yourself from their negative energy.
Always work on your state of mind and be in a good mood! Start liking what you think and what you see. Your stress comes from believing in your stressful thoughts. It has nothing to do with others. That’s it!!!
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Margarita Slavkova is the author of the Attraction Marketing Consulting blog. After being raised in ex-communist country she was able to overcome her limiting beliefs and changed her life and lifestyle. She's passionate about helping people do the same. You can reach Margarita at support@AttractionMarketingConsulting.com
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Hi Margarita,
Long time no see. I’ve been thinking about you and wanted to check what you were up to.
Changing oneself to change others, to change the world around us is very important. Gosh I’ve learned that from someone who is a master at such teaching and I was actually talking about that in one of my recent posts.
As humans we tend to look at other people and blame them when something is not going right for us, but the real strength comes from recognizing that It’s all coming from us.
Hope you’re doing well
Sylviane
Sylviane Nuccio recently posted…How To Plan For Your Success
Hi Sylviane,
Sorry to intrude but I so this line from you — “As humans we tend to look at other people and blame them when something is not going right for us, but the real strength comes from recognizing that It’s all coming from us.” This is just so remarkable to me as it is been said by past bf. We always had our argument whenever I fail at something coz I always put on him the blame for all my failures. It was just too late for me to realize that mistake because he already left me for good.
This is really an interesting post. It reminds me of the good memories we had together.
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